ÅTERUPPSTÅNDEN BARKFISK
-
Senaste inlägg
Kategorier
Arkiv
-
Senaste kommentarer
barkfisknedladdning på Sö junker på Sö barkfisknedladdning på Torsdag barkfisknedladdning på Tisdag agneta hammar på Tisdag
 | barkfisknedladdning på Sö |
 | junker på Sö |
| barkfisknedladdning på Torsdag |
| barkfisknedladdning på Tisdag |
 | agneta hammar på Tisdag |
I took to mostly walking at night and spent my days sitting in the forest, under the trees, and reading the Philokalia. Ah, how much new knowledge, how much wisdom that I had never yet possessed, was revealed to me in this book! As I began to put it into practice, I tasted a sweetness I could not have even imagined until now. Although it is true that several passages I read were incomprehensible to my foolish mind, the effects of this prayer of the heart clarified what I’d failed to understand. At times my starets came to me in my dreams and explained so much to me. Above all else he inclined my ignorant soul toward humility. For more than two months of that summer I basked in this blissful state while I walked, keeping to the forests and the byroads. When I came to a village I would ask for dry bread to fill my knapsack with, and for a handful of salt. Then I would fill my bark jar with water, and on I would go for almost another seventy miles.
For a long time I walked through forests and only rarely ran across small villages. Often I spent an entire day sitting in the forest, carefully reading the Philokalia and learning so many wondrous things from it. My heart burned with a desire for union with God through interior prayer, which I strove to attain under the guidance and verification of the Philokalia. Yet I also grieved that I had not yet found a permanent dwelling where I could spend all my time reading in peace.
During this time I also read my Bible and felt that I was beginning to understand it better than I had before, when so much was still unclear and puzzling to me. How right the Fathers are when they say the Philokalia is the key to unlocking the mysteries of Holy Scripture. With its guidance, I began to understand parts of the hidden meaning of the Word of God. The meanings of such statements as ”the inner hidden man of the heart,” ”true prayer,” ”worshiping in the spirit,” ”the Kingdom of Heaven is within us,” ”the intercession of the Holy Spirit with unutterable groanings,” ”abide in me,” ”give me your heart,” ”to put on the Christ,” the ”betrothal of the Spirit to our hearts,” calling from one’s heart: ”Abba, Father!” and so on, were now beginning to be revealed to me. As I began to pray now with my heart, everything around me was so delightfully transformed: the trees, the grass, the birds, the ground, the air, the light – all seemed to proclaim that they exist for the sake of man and bear witness to the love of God for man. All creation prays to God and sings his praises. From this I understood what the Philokalia calls a ”knowledge of the language of all creation,” and I saw how it is possible for man to communicate with all of God’s creatures.
I journeyed thus for a long time until, finally, I found myself in a place so uninhabited that for three days I did not see a single village. I had eaten all my dried bread, and I despaired at the thought that I would die of hunger. Yet as soon as I started praying, the despair would vanish. I gave myself over entirely to the will of God and was filled with joy and peace. When I had walked along part of the road that ran next to the forest, ahead of me I saw a mongrel dog come running out of the forest. It approached when I called to it and began to play affectionately with me. I was overjoyed and thought to myself, ”Now there’s God’s mercy for you! Surely there must be a flock grazing in this forest, and of course this trained dog belongs to the shepherd; or perhaps there is a hunter nearby. Whatever the case, at least I’ll be able to beg for some bread – I haven’t eaten in twenty-four hours. Or else I can ask where the nearest village is.”
The dog had been jumping around me, and when it realized I had nothing to offer, it ran off into the forest down the same narrow path by which it had come out. I followed it, and about five hundred yards later I saw that the dog had run into a hole between some trees, from which it kept looking out and barking.
[Bark jar, barking, bark fish. Barkin' Grimm.]
Funny thing – I just read Narcissus and Goldmund by Hesse. Simply stated, it is quite a simple (dichotomy in that) book, but the Pilgrim sounded in these passages like a synthesis of the two Hesse-monks… Books help us stay in other books.